New Rules for Dating Profile Photos
Uncommon Common Sense
Keepin’ It Real: Mindfulness can deliver successful outcomes.
Contrary to what many guys appear to believe, topless gym selfies on dating apps do not elicit the desired effect. By most accounts, women tend to swipe left whenever self-adoring muscle pics scroll into view. Next!
Similarly, women often take selfies from high angles to embellish their cleavage, providing a distorted picture of reality. And emphasizing the wrong message. For those who seek more than a brief encounter, you’ll need to step it up.
Rule #1: Don’t show anything you wouldn’t want family, work colleagues, or your boss to see. In other words, think classy.
Your profile photo makes a powerful first impression, instantly communicating essential data points. And folks of all persuasions respond to the same cues, namely faces that appear friendly, honest, non-threatening, and approachable. Bonus points include the ability to dress like an adult, own your body type, and indicate passions (like travel, sport, or food).
To optimize your dating portrait, Do This:
Smile. This is not the time to swagger your inner Zoolander modeling chops. Capturing a spontaneous, genuine smile—not the ‘say cheese’ variety—is what good photographers do. It has a powerful effect and is the most critical indicator of your approachability. Remember, you are auditioning for a first encounter. A grumpy or blank expression will likely torpedo your chances.
Include a full-body or three-quarters shot to honestly depict yourself. Hiding behind weird angles or lighting tricks wins you no favor if reality is at odds with your image. Why suffer the indignity when honesty wins the day? If you feel insecure about your body, discuss your concerns with your photographer, who can offer solutions involving wardrobe, camera lens focal length, body position, lighting, context, grooming, and more. Optimizing is not the same as hiding or distorting reality. It’s simply smart strategy for working with what you’ve got to best advantage. If you’ve ever noticed how a tailored suit effectively conceals flaws—in men and women—you understand the concept.
Use images that are properly lit and in focus. Never include an out-of-date cropped pic where you appear low-resolution and blurry or grainy.
Always include a close-up in addition to a full-length shot.
Show your eyes. Don’t hide behind sunglasses.
Consider the sequence of your images.
Dog or cat lovers can create an instant connection and demonstrate your nurturing side. Include pics of you with your beloved furries if you have them. If not, make some.
Not This:
Do not include group scenes flanked by bros or girlfriends. It shows a lack of confidence about being seen standing alone and the need to boast of a circle of friends. While having a crew is cool, reveal them later once the relationship has progressed. Otherwise, you risk creating the impression of someone too preoccupied to consider a relationship with, and that anyone new in your life is subject to the approval of friends. Who wants that? Next.
Avoid excessive pictures featuring drinking. It can be a trigger warning for some. Or simply diminish your appeal.
Think twice about including family members or children. Again, why add complexity and questions at this stage? There will be ample opportunity to explore your family history.
Keeping images focused squarely on you in pleasing settings is crucial for creating an attraction unencumbered by extraneous stuff. It’s about scoring a first date, not your life story. Be straightforward and honest, someone others are willing to invest time to get to know. If there’s anything questionable in your post, it’s on to the next one. Eliminate friction and optimize what you offer as an individual who has it together.
Solid, professional photographs that show you living a life others would like to share are a conversation starter, and an indication of your willingness to put in the effort. It provides prompts that others can work with to ask questions, the ignition of a successful first-encounter. It comes down to what’s essential for a compelling first impression while not over-revealing. —J Heroun
